i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize