Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm at about main and main street
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
