just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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