i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
