I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
