There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
