I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
