I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
