this beer tastes like vomit already
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize