There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
