I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
