Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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