Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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