i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
