I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
