Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
