i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
