Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
