My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
