i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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