hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He has the fingertips of a God
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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