? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
