do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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