i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
