you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize