i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
