Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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