we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
