I think im going to throw up on grandma
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
