he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
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Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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