I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize