i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
