tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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So many bounce houses so little time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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