His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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