He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
