He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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