You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
