I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I still have a little drunk in my system
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
