You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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