I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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