i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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