I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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