It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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