so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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