I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you will always have a special place in my vag
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
