Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to fling myself into the sun
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
