saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
