So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
that is very illegal...i love you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
