i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize