Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
