I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
