Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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