whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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