you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
