I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
