I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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