In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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