: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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