i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
