We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
