But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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