After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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